What I’m Trying to Accomplish

We live in an amazing world. As we advance the world becomes smaller and smaller and we now have a truly global community.  One can’t also help but look and feel like we are more divided as a human race than ever.

As I’ve gotten a little older I have found that I find myself with no real regular friends. I have had a small group of friends from high school that I have kept in touch with off and on through the years, but as time inevitably passes on, we move forward with our own lives and just don’t maintain the same level of contact and communication that we once did.  I have co-workers that I am growing more in friendship with.  I actually get along really well with everyone in my group which I know that I am truly blessed; not many people can say the same thing about where they work.  We have started trying to go out as a group to do an occasional trivia night or catch a premiere of a TV show we all enjoy at someone’s house.  I’m happily married to my wife of 4 years.  When compared with most our relationship stands above.  When things happen to me, good or bad, she is the first person I want to tell and we get along very well.  Our three year old son keeps life busy and we are happy at home.  We don’t go without our share of challenges that make life difficult at times, but show me a married couple who doesn’t.  She knows me best on this earth than anyone.

Still, I look around and see that there isn’t really what I would call a “best friend.” It’s a little difficult to start out and meet someone and still keep up with the paces of life as you do.  And anyone in their early 30’s will say it’s harder as you continue to get older.  So I did what everyone in my situation would do in this case.  I turned to the internet.

In a search to how to find a way to get to know someone better, with who I can maybe find a way to share some really true aspects of myself, I turned to the idea of pen pals. There are many sites out there who offer such services and I signed myself up for two of them.  I figured that if I found someone who didn’t know me it may start something with a clean slate.  We could write back and forth and build a friendship over time that we would continue to keep into old age.  Well that’s easier said than done.  You build a profile and try to describe yourself to someone else perusing 100’s of other people who have done just the same thing as you have and maybe someone will comment or message you to try and start a conversation.  I figured I’d give it a shot.  So far, the only keeper I have found is a woman from China.  We have been messaging back and forth and telling each other a little about life here and there.  Her English isn’t as good so my emails are decidedly longer and more developed than hers.  Still, it’s the best I’ve managed to do so far.

I’ve also started writing other stuff. In an effort to expand my horizons a little and vent some frustration I’ve started writing material for Spoken Words.  For those unfamiliar, a spoken word is a performed piece of poetry.  It’s a whole thing.  Anyway, I’ve written about 4 so far (again over about two weeks).  My wife has read one to which she said, “Huh.  I think I know you a little better now.  I mean I can see how you feel like that.”  I took it as a complement.  I’m not a poet by any means, but writing like this gets thoughts out of my head.  Story ideas will rattle on in my brain or general frustration that builds after reading horrible news stories that writing about it puts them on paper (oh who are we kidding, no one uses paper anymore) and out of my head.  I’ll stay with it.  The more I do it the easier it becomes.  Who knows, I might become descent at it.

So WordPress. After finding another friend of mine has started a blog on the same site to tell people more about him (he’s a classic introvert), I thought to myself, “Self, he might be on to something.  You may not advertise the blog to your Facebook page, but its out there on WordPress.  Who knows who will read it?  Anyway, isn’t this another way for you to say what you really feel and think?”  Well, with logic like that who can argue?

So, here I am with a start to letting out the inner me. With what started in an exercise to connect with someone and find true friendship, I may be able to open up more and let that kind of thing happen naturally.  In any case, it sure will be interesting to see what comes of it.

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