The start of an addiction

Over the past two weeks I’ve been attempting to reach out into unfamiliar territory and started to read and write poetry.  With what started as material more for spoken words (the performance of poetry) I’ve ended up knocking out about 2 to 3 pieces of something a day.  If I’m not too careful I may have a good library of work written by me.  Who knew?  Anyway, below is the first piece that got me going.  Again, read this as intended to be performed.

 

The Rage In My Mind

What would you say if you heard the rage in my mind?

When I look at the world around me and see the worst of mankind.

Those who struggle, those who are in pain

Those who just don’t get it and whose efforts are in vein.

The people who are celebrated for the things they say and do

When those things are of no benefit to me or to you

We elevate false gods and worship their example

But if you knew them personally you would see them and tremble

So much anger abounds, the noise grows ever louder

No one knows why they are mad anymore and that makes it even sadder

That anger is infectious; it’s a most contagious disease

I can’t escape it wherever I go, it resides in even me.

 

I get fed up at the blatant stupidity

I scream at the indifference

I lash out at the bigotry

I explode at the ignorance

In my head I turn over tables and breathe blazing fire

I go to war with the crowds because all they see is their own desire

 

My anger hits me but then I remember myself

I have to keep my composure and put my rage on a shelf

I go on about my day and you aren’t the wiser

That I’ve been screaming at the top of my lungs

– fighting a war that goes on forever.

 

 

What would you say if you saw the black of my mind?

The part of my brain that is anything but kind

It judges, it lusts, it’s all the worst parts of me

It fights, it breaks, it just wants you to let me be

It’s the me that no one would want to know

but he’s there all the time

Like the shadow of a wraith

I can’t escape him – he’s mine

Is he the real me that I just keep to myself?

Or is he some bit of my ego that plagues me like no one else?

He’s so mean and ugly no one would believe it

That the thoughts he thinks aren’t just his, but I claim it.

A detestable thing that only God could love

Only He could accept him with grace from above

I don’t like him at all and this world around me that I hate is his

There isn’t much more to describe him, what fits perfectly is this:

The rage I feel at the world is also directed at him

For the main thing they share in each other is the love of all that sin

 

He was the real me once, but not so any more

For I am fortunate enough to know that there is already and end to the war

Occasionally the rage is still there

It can flair with a good headline

But with enough practice I can manage it well enough

It will only get better with time.

So now that you’ve seen some of what’s in my brain

When you look at me tomorrow will anything be the same?

Will you find that you know me better?

Or maybe you didn’t know me at all?

If you looked up to me before

Do I now seem a bit …kind of…small?

The main comfort I take in all this is that odds are I’m not alone.

I’m a piece of a great sea of people that find solace at the foot of the Throne.

The fight against the other me is real

It’s just as important as yours

And every day I combat him

and embrace all he deplores.

 

I hope you can take some comfort in the words that I speak

To the untrained ear they may seem pretty bleak.

But I readily embrace the struggle of a personal daily grind

So that you will never, ever know the rage in my mind.

 

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Kira says:

    I’ve been loving your writing! I’d like to nominate you for the Liebster Award. Hope you’ll accept it. but I understand if you don’t want these types of things on your blog!
    https://kirashymn.wordpress.com/2016/06/29/liebster-award/

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That sounds awesome! I would be immensely honored. I’m happy you enjoy the blog. I always hope for the best but never really know how it will be received.

    Like

  3. John W. Leys says:

    I like this a lot. Very good poetry!

    Like

    1. Thank you. Rage in my Mind was my very first one. I never really thought it would turn into a regular thing for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. John W. Leys says:

        Well, especially for it being your first one, I think it’s great!

        Liked by 1 person

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